Swans
by renonoelle
Summary: After Rachel spills the beans, Puck thinks about how he's going to fix things. Song fic!


A/N: I do not own Glee. Sadly enough, otherwise I'd get a lot more Puckleberry, and possibly a Quinn and Rachel friendship.

The song is Swans by Unkle Bob. You should really check it out, it's AMAZING!

* * *

Puck watched as she walked way, giving him a look that said everything she couldn't. He knew she had screwed up, she knew she'd screwed up, at this point there was no reason to deny it.

Finn knew, and he couldn't stand the sight of him or Quinn. They deserved it--again no point in denying it--they'd abused his naivete to the point of no return.

Everyone in this situation was hurt, Finn perhaps most of all, but Puck and Quinn were also in pain. Quinn, who _chose_ Finn as the father--wanted him to be the father so badly--was now alone, for she still couldn't let Puck in, no matter how much he preached that he was going to be a good father.

_By my side, _

_you'll never be. _

_By my side, _

_you'll. never. be._

Puck was never going to get the chance to be the person he wanted to be. He was never going to get the girl, he was forever going to be losing the race, forever trying to make up for the person he'd chosen to be as a teenager. 

Quinn will never choose him, no matter how hard he tries, she'll never be there, she'll never chose him.

_'Cause I'm fake at the seams, _

_I'm lost in my dreams, and _

_And I want you to know, _

_that I can't let you go. _

He'd really believed for a while that everything was going to work out. Somehow, Quinn would figure out that he _deserved_ to be involved, and he would be--he'd be the best Dad a little girl could ever want. He'd gotten preoccupied one night, thinking about a little girl, with Quinn's blonde hair, his hazel eyes and for a minute, he and Quinn could do it. They could be parents. But that's all gone, the illusion is shattered, but he'll never be able to let the image of the impossible little girl go.

_And you're never coming home again, _

_And you're never coming home again. _

There is no more home. He lost any true semblance of that when he began lying to Finn--his best friend, his brother in all ways except one--and chose to betray him. There is no more home.

_By my side, _

_you'll never be. _

_By my side, _

_you'll. never. be._

Quinn has left since left the hallway, leaving Puck to his thoughts, his regrets, his pain. As Rachel came around the corner to check on him, he couldn't get out any words, just sat there, staring.

"I'm sorry," Rachel told him. She'd just blabbed to Finn, she didn't think that two other people would be hurt--she just wanted tell Finn the truth.

Puck just stared, not knowing how to respond. He knew she was sorry, fuck, _he_ was sorry. It wasn't her fault, she'd only told the truth, something both him and Quinn had been too cowardly to do.

"Yeah, me too," he eventually forced out. It was like expelling a breath he'd been holding for months. He was _sorry_. Puck didn't know that he knew _how_ to be sorry.

"You know, eventually Finn will realise that neither you or Quinn meant to hurt him. He's in a state of shock. He'll think it through, and at some point he'll remember that you were his best friend, who made a mistake," she said, not truly believing it herself, but knowing that unless she said something like that no one would ever recover.

_I wanted to tell you I changed. _

_I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time._

"I was trying to work up the nerve to tell him. Since finding out about this baby, _my_ baby_, _I've tried to change. Hell, I ever tried dating you," he said with a small smile. It wasn't meant to be mean, it wasn't meant to be cruel, it was just the truth. The old Puck would _never_ have considered dating Rachel Berry.

_I see you, you see me, _

_Differently. _

_I see you, you see me, _

_Differently. _

"I know_. _You're not the same person who used to slushie me all the time. You've grown a little soft actually," Rachel joked. "It's a good look, and maybe now you can be involved in the baby's life."

Puck sat, now starring at Rachel, and was overwhelmed with the idea that _she_ even saw the change in him. If Rachel could--who he'd been tormenting for nearly their entire high school career could see that, why couldn't Quinn?

"I'm not going soft. I'm just…growing up. You've got to eventually, right?" he said, softly nudging Rachel in the side. "You're not so bad Berry, especially when you're apologising. Thanks."

_You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again. _

"I gotta go find Quinn, hopefully convince her that I _need_ to be apart of this baby's life," Puck said, standing up. "She doesn't want my help, you know. She wants to do it alone--but no one, not even Quinn, can do this alone. I'll see you around Berry."

Puck walked away, trying to figure out what to say to Quinn, hoping that this time, she would give him a chance.

And Rachel sat there, contemplating how she had screwed up so badly, and how she was going to fix it.


End file.
